Author: Africa Roberts Bell, DSW Student and LMSW Lead Therapist
Life moves fast. Too fast sometimes. And before we know it, we’ve become experts at running—not just from responsibilities, but from hurt, disappointment, and wounds too deep to face. We tell ourselves, no one has time for that. We stay busy, keep grinding, and push through. Because that’s what we were taught to do.
But here’s the thing: pain doesn’t just disappear because we ignore it. It lingers, hiding in the background, showing up in our attitudes, our relationships, our restless nights. And the more we run, the more exhausted we become.
So how do we stop running? How do we confront our hurt and start healing for real?
1. Name It and Claim It
First things first: call it what it is. Heartbreak, betrayal, grief, disappointment, whatever it is, own it. We spend so much time downplaying our struggles, thinking, somebody else got it worse, or I should be over this by now. But pain unacknowledged is pain unhealed.
Ask yourself: What am I running from? Sit with that question. Be honest. Let yourself feel what you feel.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
Healing isn’t about pretending to be strong. It’s about allowing yourself to be human. Sometimes, we grieve things we don’t even realize—the childhood we wish we had, the love that didn’t last, the dream that didn’t come true. That’s real. And it’s okay to mourn what was lost.
Cry if you need to. Write it down. Say it out loud. Whatever it takes, give yourself space to process. You can’t heal what you refuse to feel.
3. Find Your Safe Space
Healing happens in community. Find people who can hold space for you—a trusted friend, a therapist, a support group. Too many of us have been conditioned to suffer in silence, but you don’t have to do this alone.
And I get it—trust is hard when you’ve been hurt. But not everyone is out to break you. Some people are placed in your life to help put the pieces back together. Let them.
4. Let Go of Shame
Pain comes with baggage—shame, guilt, and self-blame. We tell ourselves, I should’ve known better. I should’ve done better. But listen, hurt don’t make you weak. Struggling doesn’t make you less than. Life happens, and healing is a process.
So, give yourself grace. You’re not supposed to have it all figured out overnight.
5. Choose Healing Daily
Healing is a choice—one you have to make over and over again. Some days will be easier than others. Some wounds take longer to mend. But every time you choose to face your pain instead of running, you’re reclaiming your power.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the past didn’t happen. It means you are no longer allowing it to dictate your future.
You Deserve to Heal
You don’t have to keep running. You don’t have to carry pain that’s too heavy for you. Confronting hurt is scary, but it’s also freeing. And you deserve that freedom.
So, take your time. Take your steps. And remember—you don’t have to walk this road alone.
Author: Africa Roberts Bell, DSW Student and LMSW Lead Therapist
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